Sherrod Brown
Sherrod Brown is a businessman and United States Senator from Oregon. A former member of the Democratic Socialists, Brown is the chief architect of the War on Poverty. Brown is President of United Food and Commercial Workers, the largest union. Brown is currently a member of the Federalist Party. Pennsylvania, US Steel Sherrod Brown began his career in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. He quickly seized control of US Steel, a failing mining corporation that was $200 million in debt. At the same time, Brown attempted a power grab at United Steelworkers, a labor union with no labor contracts in place. In his term as President of USW, Brown seized control over vulnerable labor contracts. USW's peak membership was about 100,000, before United Food and Commercial Workers retook the stolen sectors. Brown likely misinterpreted the role of unions in-game. Brown believed that the unions were meant to drive up wages, in contrast to them actually being used to generate campaign cash. Brown liquidated expenseful US Steel sectors and began to turn a profit. However, the abundance of debt, which prohibited Brown from paying out dividends, began to annoy the stockholders. Brown then left Pennsylvania for Illinois. Illinois and Lockheed Martin Brown swiftly took control of an Illinois based defense company, Lockheed Martin. Lockheed was already profitable when Brown came to power, and he had little effective over that. Brown remained CEO of Lockheed for a number of days, before being succeeded by Chans Victim, Brown's sugar daddy. Retreat to Oregan, First Senate Term With no incentive to stay in Illinois, Brown retreated to Oregan to seek an open Senate seat. Brown joined the Democratic Socialists. After winning the Senate election with 100% of the vote, Brown produced a number of failed bills, including: Discourage Blacks from voting Act, which would require a poll tax. 4/20 Act, which would legalize marijuana. Pornstars need funds act, which would subsidize the technology industry. Increase corporate profits act, which would set the minimum wage to below average. Then Senator Person Man, the Chairman of the Democratic Socialists, called Brown out for being "un-socialist" after proposing the Increase corporate profits act. Brown responded by saying, "Sorry daddy," and has largely refrained from doing stupid shit thus since. Second Term Brown successfully ran for a second term. Brown was much more serious in his second term. After winning a national election due to faithless electors, President Person Man appointed Brown to a number of cabinet positions, though his nomination was blocked by Republicans and Person Man rescinded Brown's nomination. Brown's sex slave, Mali H, however, has been reatetidly nominated to a number of positions, all being blocked by Republicans. Brown never proposed any bills throughout his second term. He constantly voted for Person Man's nominees and somewhat left-wing. Third Term and War on Poverty After winning election to a third term, Brown finally started to become at least somewhat of a distinguished legislator. When Social Security was abolished, there was a budget surplus of over $1.4 trillion. Brown sought first to relieve that surplus by cutting the corporate tax rate from 20% to 10%. Doing so would have decreased government revenues by $400 billion. The corporate tax deduction bill failed miserably. Brown then supported a cut in income taxes. Brown said: : "We need to keep it progressive! We need a deduction in tax liabilites. For this would mean tens of billions of dollars more each year in production, profits, wages, and public revenues. It would mean an end to the persistent slack which has kept our unemployment at an above 5 percent rate. It is increasingly clear--to those in Government, business, and labor who are responsible for our economy's success--that our obsolete tax system exerts too heavy a drag on private purchasing power, profits, and employment. Designed to check inflation in earlier years, it now checks growth instead. It discourages extra effort and risk. It distorts the use of resources. It invites recurrent recessions, depresses our Federal revenues, and causes chronic budget deficits.This net reduction in tax liabilities will increase the purchasing power of American families and business enterprises in every tax bracket, with greatest increase going to our low-income consumers.The quality of American life must keep pace with the quantity of American goods." Brown's bill failed to gain Republican support and died. Brown then attempted to get an increase in welfare. He started by proposing moving welfare from "Maintained" to "Expanded." Brown called this the "War on Poverty," though he has stated he should have called it the New Frontier because "LBJ sucked his own cock and Kennedy was so much better." The War on Poverty bill passed after endorsement by President Person Man. Brown, joined with James Ernest, then proposed a second bill, which would add regulations to the environment, something that had never been done before. Brown and, more often Ernest, have stated that this was meant to merely be the first step in cleaning up the environment, with environmental quality at less than 1%. Brown then proposed a bill to double welfare. This bill failed in a tie vote in the Senate. The fourth attempt, proposed by Ernest, would increase the minimum wage to very high. In exchange, Republicans were promised that if they supported the comprehensive minimum wage, they would get a reduction in taxes. This tactic proved ineffective, however, and the bill was lost in the Senate 4-14 and 12-91 in the House. The fifth bill is currently before the Congress. This bill would create a healthcare public option. Brown and Ernest have retained their original pledge so long as Republicans support the bill, they will in return be rewarded with tax reductions. Personal Life Brown was born in Kenya. He illegally immigrated to the United States with the help of Barack Obama. Brown had a child with a Siham Sabar, a 12-year-old. Brown decided to name his child Mali H. Mali H is currently a Senator from North Dakota. Brown is said to have a number of daughters with other women. He said during his first term: "I like to keep my daughters locked in the basement most of the day. Routinely I will take them to my Senate office and fuck them in the asshole." Margaret Thatcher, an Independent Senator, said of Brown in her book, "to kill a nigger:" "It was 3 AM. I heard a knock on the door, it was Sherrod. Sherrod asked if he could come in and I let him, thankfully my house wasnt the only thing he would be cumming in that night. I took Sherrod to the couch and asked what he needed, to which he replied 'I need that fat botay,' and he pulled out a knife. I screamed and then my wife Francis Wood came in from the other room, she was breastfeeding the puppy. Francis said "damn sherrod I bet your penis isnt as big as that knife." Sherrod then went on to take his pants off, take his panties off and showed us his long, 13-inch penis. "Damn," I said, getting wet. Sherrod then flipped me over and undressed me. Francis, who had just given birth to a number of monkeys so her vagina was sensitive, just played with her clit and watched. Sherrod ate my ass to get me ready for anal penetration, but his body got me so turned on already. Sherrod stuck his long peepee so deep inside my ass that it got stuck and he couldnt get it out. My anus started to bleed as Francis climaxed." Criticism Brown has repeatedly acted childish throughout his career, especially during his first term in the Senate. In support of his bill to legalize marijuana, Brown wrote: : "its 4/20 i think i wouldnt know cuz im high on mariwanna! MY BODY MY CHOICE! the government cant tell me what i do with my body i WANT TO SMOKE WEED I LIKE IT GOD DAMMIT WHEN I AM HIGH IT DOESNT HURT AS MUCH WHEN U STICK UR DICK IN MY ASS I DONT LIKE ANAL SO AT LEAST LEMME SMOKE WEED IF YOURE GONNA MAKE ME DO ANAL!" Category:Illionis and Lockhead Martin